Angel and demon
by himedra
Summary: Sasuke was never happy about Itachis disappearanc and his role as avenger. The angel and the demon in his head alwasy fight till he can't stand it anymore and decides to change things.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do NOT own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I just write fanfiction for fun. Warning: OOCness, language Info: this is placed after Sasuke killed Orochimaru only because I want to see that snake dead muhahaha…

Angel and demon

Chapter 1

He was a failure, a complete failure. There was this one man that killed his whole clan and he wasn't able to hate and kill him. Really, what the hell was wrong with him, he wondered. It wasn't the first time Sasuke thought about this, to be honest he had this thoughts every day and they were the reason why he couldn't sleep at night, together with more inappropriate thoughts about… no stop it, he scolded himself. He sighed. How was he supposed to fix this mess called his live? He had no idea. Keep on training, you little idiot he told himself. But he couldn't concentrate and fell of the tree in the river. He got out, soaked and shivering from the cold wind. It seems like there would be no more training today. He sighed again and walked to his current hideout to take a bath.

He went through the front door of the small house, hidden in the deep woods. He prepared a bath and got something to drink. It was so nice to sink in the warm water and relax. But even though his body relaxed, his mind kept bugging him. It got so bad that he was hearing voices arguing over this one topic in his head. It was killing him. The angel and demon in his head were always fighting and screaming at each other. Sasuke was getting annoyed. How come he, the great Uchiha couldn't find a solution? Why the hell had it have to be him? Why did he fell for his big brother? Well… It was easy: his big brother was beautiful and always so nice and caring, the angel told him. But he killed the rest of the clan and told you to hate him, the demon replied. But you don't care; you always listen to him even now you try to hate him just because he told you to, the angel argued. Arg, all right. This couldn't go on like this! He would go crazy! He had to talk with his brother. He got out of the bath tub and dried himself and then put on some comfortable cloths.

The next problem was: where was his aniki? He had no idea where the Akatsuki hideout was and if his brother would be there. God, why had his live to so difficult? He sighed and walked out of the front door, deciding to just wander around a bit and hope that destiny would let them meet.

It looked like they weren't meant to meet just jet and even after hours and days of wandering he didn't find him. He looked miserably, his hair even more unruly and messy than normal, the clothes dirty and his form lonely and crooked. His headache because of his angel and demon got worse with each step he took, each minute he didn't see Itachi. He missed him. Sasuke sighed. Great, now he even missed that idiot of an older brother. But how stupid was he? What would he do if he met Itachi? He couldn't just say: Hey, long time no seen. I miss you, come back with me and start anew. How Sasuke wished it was so easy, but unfortunately it wasn't. Hell he didn't even know if his brother missed him too or if he wanted to talk to him, after all what happened. It was like their roles changed and Sasuke being the one that killed everyone, he felt guilty and miserable for something he didn't do and unsure about his brother. He had absolutely no idea how to look him in the face. What would he see there in those dangerous eyes? Would it be guilt? Would it be pity? Or would it be disgust? Anger? Hatred? Love? … wait a minute… love? Why the hell should there be love? And how come he even thought about something like this? It couldn't be that he wanted to see that, right? Sasuke asked himself. He played shocked about his thoughts but if he were honest it wasn't surprising at all. He always looked up and admired his older brother. When he grew up it got stronger and stronger even after that incident. He tried to forget his feelings, locking them away at the back of his mind but they just broke down the door that kept them away. It was sick. He was sick and he knew it. God damn it, now his headache got even worse. Sasuke groaned but kept on walking in a random direction.

Phew… wow I like to write this story, hope you enjoy reading it ^^ anyway: I try to update fast but I can't guarantee anything. If you found mistakes or something else that bugs you or something you like, please don't be shy to tell me.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAMER: I still don't own Naruto and am happy about it^^ all credits go to Masashi Kishimoto

Sorry about the maybe a bit strange plot and ooc-ness.

Warning: bad language, mature themes

Chapter 2

Sasuke was in a terrible condition when Itachi stumbled over him. Itachi had no idea how that happened and why he was so close to the hideout. Surely the others didn't harm him? He needed Sasuke to kill him and restore the honor of the clan. He was worried about his brother but he could never show it. "What a coincidence to meet you again, Sasuke." He said to get the others attention. He was slightly annoyed; he wasn't used to get ignored.

At the familiar voiced Sasukes head shot up to see the one he searched for. "Itachi… wow didn't think I would ever find you." His brother cast him a confused glance at this but got ignored. Sasuke bit his lip. Now that he actually found him he was too shy to say what he wanted. He looked away then back to his brother, uncertain visible in his eyes.

Itachi was really confused. What the hell had happened to his Otouto? Shouldn't he try to kill him? And what was with those eyes, he didn't even activate the sharingan like him. "What do you want? You obviously don't want to try to fight me but why else search for me?" he asked his brother.

Sasuke shrank under Itachis powerful glare. He gulped down his nervousness and tried to tell him but he couldn't. He had no power left to talk. He was wandering around for so long without taking care of his body that now he just collapsed. His world became dark as he fell on the ground in front of a surprised Itachi.

When he woke up again his body was aching, the strains of his reckless search finally showing. His head hurt like hell but to his relieve there were no voices arguing in his mind. He groaned as he tried to sit up, he felt all of his muscles rebel but he didn't care. Where was Itachi, was all that he could think about. He found himself in a cave, a fire burning nearby, but no signs of his brother. Anyway how did he get there? He tried to get up but failed and fell to the ground. He hissed in pain and was startled when he heard someone chuckle. There he stood the proud form of Uchiha Itachi, his big brother, looking down on him, smirking at him mockingly. But instead of anger he only felt shame. He was such an idiot. First he searched him, then found him but collapsed, how embarrassing. He surely thought of him as a weakling, not even worth killing. But then again why bring him here? "Where are we? Why did you take me here?" he asked. "In a cave. I took you with me so no one else would kill you. You are after all a missing nin. What happened?" Itachi said. What happened… yeah that was a good question. He wasn't sure himself if he had a good answer. He looked away and waited what for his brothers next move. But he only heard rustling of clothes as Itachi sat beside him. "What. The. Hell. Happened, Sasuke?" he asked again, his voice calm but dangerous. Sasuke gulped nervously but shook his head. He realized that he couldn't tell him, he was too afraid of his reaction. Itachi sighed. "Well if there is nothing to tell me and you don't want to and can't fight me then I waste my time here. I'll see you again when you're stronger." And with that Itachi raised and wanted to go but Sasuke stopped him as he grabbed his left ankle.

"Please Itachi, kill me." He whispered broken.

Itachi was frozen. He couldn't believe this happened. Now he was really worried what happened to his brother. He frowned and sat again. "Tell me first. Who broke your spirit like this? Didn't you want to revenge the clan? Didn't you want to kill me?" Itachi could have slapped himself. Why was he so stupid to show Sasuke how worried he was? He couldn't risk destroying the world of his brother that he so carefully constructed and planed.

"You." It slipped his lips before he realised it. Sasuke was really petrified. Why couldn't Itachi not just kill him? It would be so nice to be dead. The voices would stop and he wouldn't have to play a role he never wanted, live a live that wasn't his. But his brother was stubborn in his own way.

"I? I thought you hate me why should that break your spirit? And what about the revenge?" demanded Itachi. He had to wait for a long time till he got an answer but he was worried so he waited.

He was confused. Why did he care about the reason? Why wait for his answer, didn't he say that this was wasting his time? But what would it matter if he told the truth? He was going to die anyway so at least be honest at the end he thought and prepared his answer. "Hm. Yes you ruined my live. Not really the massacre, I didn't like our family anyway, but more with leaving me behind and treating me badly. I always looked up to you, admired you and then you killed everybody and told me to hate you, to be an avenger. But there is the problem: I'll never be able to kill you. Never. Not because you are so much stronger, I grew stronger too and would be able to surpass you but that's not the problem." He sighed and then continued "The problem is: You could kill our whole clan, betray our village, even destroy the rest of the world and I would still not be able to hate you. Believe me I tried my best but I can't. And I got it, the fact that I'll never be able to hate and kill you and that finishes me of, it broke me."

Itachi was amazed. How come his Otouto was so forgiving? What went wrong with his perfect plan? He frowned. "And why exactly should I bother to kill you? I won't gain anything from it." He had to keep up his cold façade.

"… who else I could trust my body with? I don't want the sharingan in the hands of the wrong people." Sasuke answered "hm. I get it. But I won't kill you just yet. I want your Mangekyo not those week eyes you possess now." Itachi responded.

Sasuke sighed again. "You don't get it. I'll never get the Mangekyo. I don't want to live on."

That was it. Itachi snapped. He grabbed his brother and slammed him in the next wall. "God damn it Sasuke! Wake up to the world! It's not always easy to live but you have to struggle and try. You are an Uchiha you can't just give up!" He shook his brother while almost screaming at him. It was good that Sasuke was looking down, he wouldn't have wanted him to see the helpless face he was making right now.

Suddenly Sasuke replied. "You have no idea… You have no fucking idea!" he screamed and tried to escape his brothers grip but found himself still unable to do the easiest things, what made he even angrier.

"Then tell me." Itachi commanded in his calm voice again.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to tell you that?" he got and quiet and helpless question from his brother. "Tell me what?"

"That I love you"

*groaning* while writing this I hit my head on the desk countless times, it would never seem right… Anyway hope you enjoyed it and I try to upload asap. Reviews would help me and maybe I could even write what you request ^^


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAMER: I do not own Naruto and I have no intention to claim it.

Warning: language, mature themes

Chapter 3

"_Well how the hell am I supposed to tell you that?" he got and quiet and helpless question from his brother. "Tell me what?" _

"_That I love you"_

Itachi loosened his grip on Sasuke and stepped back a bit.

Sasuke put a hand over his mouth. Shit, he said it.

Itachi just stood there dumbfounded. His mouth was slightly agape but he didn't notice. It took some moments for his brain to work again and try to make sense of what he just heard.

If Sasuke wasn't so afraid he would have laughed. He had managed to make the great Uchiha Itachi speechless, he really deserved a decoration. But he was really scared of his brothers reaction so he didn't think about such things. He looked to the ground, gulped and waited for his death.

Itachi blinked a few times. Wait a sec, Sasuke loved him? How? But he… arg shit. He was confused. But then that meant… no that couldn't be…this had to be a strange dream… but he didn't remember going to sleep. Hm… but what was this warm feeling in his stomach that started to spread through his whole body? He closed his eyes to better concentrate. So first this wasn't a dream, he was sure of that. Second, his brother seemed serious, that he got from the way he acted. Third, he wasn't sure how to understand this information and how to act now. He sighed and opened his eyes to see a really distressed Sasuke biting his lips. Itachi had to gulp. He did grow a lot since their last encounter and became a lot sexier. Wait WHAT?! Urg.. Where came that from? He did always love his brother more than most other big brothers did but well… it couldn't be that he loved him that way, right?

Sasuke looked shyly up to his brother who still seemed deep in thoughts. He frowned. What was there to think about? Should he try to run away? Nah, he didn't want to live anyway but his fear grew stronger with every second Itachi didn't respond.

Finally Itachi decided to speak again. "Sasuke you know that that would be considered incest and therefore wrong, right?" Now Sasuke got angry "Why of course I know that, you think I'm that stupid?!" "But you still feel that way even though you know that?" Itachi asked confused. "Arg, yes that's what I just told you" a long silence followed that exchange.

"All right. Otouto, I don't know if I love you the way you do but you are precious to me, always were." Itachi answered him after considering everything. Sasukes eyes shone up with hope. "So you don't think of me as disgusting or something like that?" He shook his head "How could I. You should be the one disgusted with me for you know what." Now it was Sasukes turn to shake his head. He took a few steps forward and hugged his big brother. Said male returned the hug and asked his most important question: "Otouto, don't you want to know the reason of what I did?" "No. It doesn't matter. Let's start anew and forget about the past." He smiled his brightest smile for his aniki and looked at him happily.

That sight was too much for Itachi. He smiled with tears forming in his eyes and leaned forward to capture his brothers lips with his own.

Sorry that it is so short, next chapter will probably be the end. Thanks for reading.


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